SLAYERS -- A Bloody Murder of a Plot

Review by Joseph Fayed

Slayers is a poorly edited mess of a vampire comedy/slasher film from director K. Asher Levin. It follows a group of influencers who are invited to a reclusive billionaire's mansion, only for it to be a lair for evil vampires. Based on the synopsis alone, you can accurately assume this film is a poor mash-up of films like From Dusk Till Dawn or The Hunt. 

The biggest hint I was in for a real treat was right from the start when we saw photos of various historical figures edited to be vampires. The only real laugh I had watching this was seeing Adolf Hitler with red eyes and fangs. It is one of many cheesy gimmicks and brief cutaways the film relies on, none of which do anything but make it more obvious how low-budget this production must have been. 

The group of influencers the film follows are meant to be shallow people, but each is given dialogue that sounds like it was directly ripped off every other YouTube vlogger's stream. There is no other humor presented, and the script is also unable to make the distinction between parody or playing into stereotypes. 

Our vampires are a billionaire philanthropist couple who invited the group to their mansion to partake in "vaccine trials." I could delve into a debate over the exploitation of capitalism by the super-rich here, much like the film was trying to poke fun at, but that would require adding insight to the debate, which the film fails to do. The conspiracy element ultimately fails not just because it is too far-fetched to be believed but because it adds another layer to a story that can't even stand well on its own. 

Not one actor here gives a somewhat decent performance here. It is hard to blame them, though, when their characters were written so blandly. Towards the final act, we learn through a series of more poorly-edited cutaways how the vampires came to be. That proves to be too little too late to salvage the plot when the first 75 minutes or so of this mess had nothing to offer besides Instagram and fake blood. 

Slayers has nothing new to add to its genre. When you're not bored by the predictable plot, you will be highly annoyed with the production values that look like an influencer's sponsored ad funded it. Stay away from this one like vampires keep away from holy water.

Slayers is now on VOD.

​Rating: 1/5