|
Review by Cole Groth  It’s a shame that modern Hollywood has failed the vampire. The Twilight series has made the undead bloodsuckers a laughingstock of a character archetype, and garbage, like Don’t Suck, continues to keep them as a joke — and in the case of this horror-comedy, a very bad one. RJ Collins badly directs a messy film that winds up with almost no laughs throughout its 100-minute runtime. Pete (Jamie Kennedy) is a schlocky comedian who’s uncomfortable in his position telling unfunny jokes to small crowds as a road comic. After witnessing a vampire (Matt Rife) who manages to almost impressively bomb at one of his gigs, the two take a road trip that’ll leave both of their lives changed forever. Their trek across the country through dirty comedy clubs takes Pete on a journey of self-discovery as he tries to become a “comic’s comic": someone other comedians try to look up to. For a movie about comedy, it’s a shame that this isn’t funny. There are a few jokes that strike, but for every ten jokes, nine of them are either mean, stupid, or horribly delivered. Few make sense, and almost all of them fall flat. Writer Rick D’Elia’s script is simply horrible from a comic level, but the vampire stuff is admittedly pretty interesting. There’s enough potential here to where the end result feels almost insulting and like a true missed opportunity. It’s bad enough that the movie sucks, but for it to introduce an interesting idea and ignore it is one of its biggest sins.  Jamie Kennedy is a horrible leading man. He’s this horrifically unfunny, misogynistic, and creepy man whose presence on screen is a constant eyesore. For some odd reason, his character has this hot trophy girlfriend who seems to serve as the writer’s insert for whom he wishes he could date. In any case, it’s also a bizarre choice. His counterpart, the vampiric Matt Rife, has a much better appearance on screen. He’s a lot more subtle and does a decent job of being this broody vampire with a knack for bombing at stand-up comedy.
The biggest problem with this type of movie is that it falls too heavily into mean-spirited humor. It’s the type of movie that tries too hard to be offensive in an attempt to be “canceled” for internet hype. It meanders through a boring plot and several unlikable characters to a conclusion that feels confusing and emotionally unearned. Ultimately, Don’t Suck… sucks. The funniest part of the movie probably comes from the title. If you’re a huge Matt Rife lover, I’ve heard that his type of comedy might fall in line with this film, so it could be appealing to you. To those who like well-written and subtle humor told by not directly hatable characters, this one is the easiest skip of the year. Don’t Suck releases in theaters and on demand December 1. Rating: 1.5/5
0 Comments
Review by Joseph Fayed  The plight of an immigrant could easily be nightmare fuel. Raging Grace is Director Paris Zarcilla's SXSW award-winning debut that tells the story of one immigrant that takes a sinister turn but also mostly follows familiar horror tropes that leave its antagonists and its ultimate message not as terrifying as they were meant to be. Joy is an undocumented Filipina immigrant trying to secure a better life for herself and her young daughter, Grace. When she lands a job as a caretaker that she simply can't refuse, she soon discovers a grisly secret about her employer that could jeopardize their lives. Without wanting to play into stereotypes, the film handles its characterization of Joy well. Joy is very determined and, under her circumstances, does not buckle under whatever is thrown at her. Her arc revolves around respect from those who feel she has invaded their environment, and she consistently stands on her own two feet to demand that. Developing such strength for a character midway through would have been difficult for a protagonist meant to have endured the worst throughout her life. Shedding off her past so suddenly would have been too confusing. On the other hand, Joy's employers, Katherine and Mr. Garrett, both embody prejudice, which manages to contrast each other at times, but it's done to a laughable extent. Katherine is more upfront about hers, and the terminally ill Mr. Garrett slowly reels you in with his.  Any moment a character is supposed to feel angry is unintentionally hilarious. At one point Katherine has something that I can only describe as a Marty Wolf from Big Fat Liar-esque meltdown. This immediately turns into a serious confrontation between her and Mr. Garrett without addressing what just happened that led to said meltdown. This occurs just before the reveal of what exactly Katherine and Mr. Garrett have been hiding from Joy and Grace. The reveal isn't much of a mystery, as any clues on what may be hidden are kept until the third act, which is also when almost anything significant happens. This does not include a memorable sequence towards the end that is clearly meant to be paranormal, set up like a parody of Insidious.
Tonally and pacing-wise, Raging Grace is very messy. You will be engaged with the plot at times, but for all the wrong reasons. Its performances delve into camp territory, which ironically becomes the most memorable aspect of any of this. If you're expecting to explore the inner demons of a wealthy family and how their immigrant housekeeper is driven insane by them, you're expecting too much to be adequately fleshed out. This psychological thriller will only leave you second-guessing how this won over the grand jury at SXSW. In the meantime, go watch Nanny by Nikyatu Jusu for a better tale about an immigrant wanting to help her child, which comes at the cost of disturbing breaks from reality and heartbreak. Rating: 2/5 Review by Jonathan Berk  Director Noora Niasari’s film Shayda isn’t technically a horror movie. However, it contains several moments scarier than films labeled as such this year. Niasari captures the horrors of escaping an abusive relationship and navigating the societal and legal struggles of divorce and custody. She also manages to capture the hope of the future, the power of possibility, and the love of a culture — even when it feels like that culture may not love you quite the same. Shayda is a powerful and affecting film with an equally impressive lead performance. Shayda (Zar Amir Ebrahimi), an Iranian immigrant in Melbourne, is living with her young daughter, Mona (Selina Zahednia), in a women’s shelter led by Joyce (Leah Purcell). She is fleeing her abusive husband, Hossein (Osamah Sami), hoping to start a new life while protecting Mona, but the legal process of a custody fight and societal pressures may be too much. Ebrahimi is a quiet powerhouse. She conveys so many emotions with just her body language and looks. In an early scene, Joyce and Shayda sit in a room on speakerphone, recounting an attack Hossein had inflicted upon Shayda. The camera work and the lighting make the moment feel intense, but it is Ebrahimi’s shaking and vacant look that conveys a plethora of emotions, as the details of the attack are still very real to her. She bursts out of the room, and the camera pans over to show her through the doorway. We can’t escape this, and we have to live in the moment, watching the fear flood out of her through this powerful early scene, showing the director and actor working together to deliver an affecting moment.  The film will be triggering for anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship or is the child of one. The first time Hossein is introduced, many will feel he seems like a man trying to win back his family. However, those with these past experiences will immediately sense the hostility boiling under that calm demeanor. Sami plays the role all too perfectly, and as the film moves on and Hossein feels his family gets further away, the true monster boils over. There are some truly haunting scenes in this film, and Zahednia’s reactions to them make them all the more troubling.
Despite the many upsetting moments, there are several moments of real joy. There is a great bonding moment over Mona’s new goldfish, Simba, and what he symbolizes as part of a Nowruz tradition. However, it’s hard to deny that the happy moments — like Shayda dancing or Mona getting a necklace — aren’t shadowed by the dark cloud that is Hossein’s existence. Much like a person fleeing a hostile situation, we are always looking over our shoulder; sure that at any moment, our optimism will be shattered by reality. Niasari’s debut film is extremely personal and based on her own childhood upbringing. However, her story is one that many people can sadly relate to. There are many threads within it that audiences may attach themselves to. You may also, like myself, find that Shayda has embedded itself into your psyche as you watch it. Shayda releases in theaters on December 1. Rating: 5/5 Review by Cole Groth  McG’s had an exciting filmography, with campy slasher, fun action flicks, and a critically maligned Terminator sequel under his belt. If you had to guess what was next for him, you probably wouldn’t have guessed Family Switch, a body swap comedy about a dysfunctional family who live through a tumultuous Christmas while occupying the bodies of their older or younger relatives. It’s a straightforward film with a mixed bag of cheesy jokes, but the emotional core keeps this from being anything less than enjoyable. At first, Family Switch seems doomed to be an incessantly annoying comedy. The family — played by Ed Helms, Jennifer Garner, Emma Myers, and Brady Noon — have the annoying stereotypes expected with this kind of movie. The mom is a strong leader, and the dad an incompetent fool. Both can’t connect with their son, who’s too busy acting like he’s the smartest kid in the world, and daughter, who cares more about sports than anything else. The family is a mess, and the setup doesn’t seem funny. After a day of arguing leads them to a telescope and a wish that they would spend a day in each other’s shoes, the family finds themselves in the titular predicament. Hilarity ensues. No, seriously! It’s a very funny movie, and director McG does a good job of keeping it relatively fresh as a concept. It’s generic plot-wise, but works well because the cast is a lot of fun. There’s a sequence where the parents (in their kids’ bodies) go out to a party, and that scene stands out as the best of the movie. Some of the jokes are eye-rollingly stupid, and some are genuinely hilarious. It’s uneven, to be sure, but funnier more often than unfunny.  The leading cast feels all too familiar in the beginning, but once the switch is made, they’re a lot of fun. Jennifer Garner is funny (and pretty gross), and Ed Helms plays a mostly familiar role, but the real standouts are Emma Myers and Brady Noon. Myers, in particular, does a good job of acting like an adult in a kid’s body. Rita Moreno and Matthias Schweighöfer have minor roles and are both excellent additions to the cast.
On a technical level, there’s nothing to write home about this. The world the Walker family occupies feels pretty realistic, and the production design is nice. From an editing and cinematographic perspective, it’s nothing remarkable. The pacing is good, and the story as a whole feels helped by a 105-minute runtime. For families looking for a holiday movie, this is a great option to watch. It’s great fun for kids and has some good jokes that’ll keep adults happy, too. With fun leading performances and a good holiday atmosphere, it’s an overall solid watch for the Christmas season and a good addition to McG’s filmography. Family Switch releases on Netflix on November 30. Rating: 3.5/5 Review by Camden Ferrell  For the last several decades, the International Chopin Piano Competition has been held every five years. It is one of the most prestigious classical music competitions, and it’s a showcase for some of the most talented young pianists in the world. Jakub Piątek’s gives us an intimate look at the 2021 competition in his documentary Pianoforte. This movie premiered at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival, his second movie to do so. This is a straightforward yet entertaining documentary that gives a spotlight to emerging young talent among the backdrop of a stressful yet rewarding competition. The competition takes place in Poland, and the film gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the competition and what each of the contestants go through during this time. The film primarily focuses on a handful of pianists from all over the world as they navigate the competition and their own personal lives. This premise is one that will interest fans of classical music or those who enjoy the spirit of competition and unmitigated passion. The narrative structure of this documentary is very conventional, but it works for the story that is being told. It’s a straightforward story that is easy to follow and told in a simple and linear manner. This allows the film to properly capture the contestants’ mindset and behavior at each individual stage of the competition. As candidates begin to get eliminated, it’s easy for us to root for the subjects of this film as we see them grow and try and prove they’re the best. Piątek plays it pretty safe as a director, but it’s ultimately to the film’s benefit.  The subjects that we follow are all unique and interesting in their own ways. Viewers will likely find at least one contestant with whom they can relate. Even if you don’t relate to them, it’s easy to see how passionate they are about their craft, and when someone loves what they do that much, it’s hard not to be invested. I was most invested in Hao Rao, a young Chinese pianist as he travels across the world with his longtime teacher. He perfectly captured the familiar combination of dynamic and confident onstage presence and the critical and reserved player offstage. Each contestant brings something new to the table, and the documentary balances them well, to prevent the film from feeling slow and oversaturated in certain areas.
Obviously, a documentary of this nature should have good musical scenes, and it does for the most part. The works of Chopin are classics to the entire world, and it’s fascinating to see these young players perform them. However, I feel like these scenes aren’t nearly present enough in the film. We get plenty of insight into their lives offstage, but the scenes of their performances are mostly abbreviated more than I would have appreciated. Clearly, it’s senseless to include entire performances in a movie, but it definitely could have been more fleshed out. Pianoforte is a simple yet effective documentary about one of the most prestigious piano competitions in the world. We get a glimpse at some of the most impressive young musicians around today, and it gives audiences an idea of what they’re going through at every stage of the competition. We revel in their success, and we empathize with their missteps. It’s an entertaining documentary more than anything, and it is a strong showcase of Piątek’s storytelling abilities. Pianoforte is in theaters December 1. Rating: 4/5 |