HALLOWEEN ENDS -- Finally
Review by Adam Donato
A year after Halloween Kills and four years after Halloween (2018), the Michael Myers legacy trilogy comes to its conclusion in the form of Halloween Ends. This is it, baby! Will Laurie finally kill Michael or will he finish what he started over forty years ago? Universal releases the horror blockbuster in theaters and on Peacock right in the midst of the spookiest month of the year. Despite giving up the movie for free on streaming, Halloween Ends looks sure to dominate the box office, but will audiences get the satisfying ending they’ve been promised?
Halloween Ends is written by director David Gordon Green, as well as Danny McBride, Chris Bernier, and Paul Brad Logan. It’s never a good sign when a movie has so many writers. Also, it’s a Halloween movie, it’s not rocket science. Step one, Michael Myers should kill people throughout the movie. He doesn’t even show up in the first hour. We’re more than halfway through the movie before it becomes a horror movie. Until then, the movie focuses on a brand new character named Corey. He’s a good young man who had had an accident that ruined his life. The only way the main characters from the first movie have purpose in this story is because Laurie Strode’s granddaughter pursues a relationship with Corey. This feels like such a diversion from the story of the first two movies, which is Laurie Strode’s connection and relationship with Michael Myers. Without spoiling anything, the conclusion of that storyline is probably the best part of the movie despite the lack of build up in this movie.
When people are being killed like in a horror movie, this movie plays really well! Too bad it takes an hour to get to this point. At the end of the movie, the audience was roaring at what was going on. It's definitely the type of movie that is heightened by the experience of seeing it in a packed theater. Even when one of the characters gets a green text message and someone in the audience exclaims “Ha, Android bitch!” Nobody is saying this movie is classy. At the end of the day, it’s the umpteenth horror sequel in a franchise that has far more bad movies than good. The bar is very low. The kills are very good. There’s a consistent comedic element throughout the movie (both intentional and unintentional). Bring a friend, shove some popcorn in your face, but don’t expect to feel a smidge of fear when walking back to your car in the dark. It’s not a terrible experience, but it takes way too long to get where we’re going and by the end it’s hard to care. Halloween (1978) didn’t need sequels and neither did Halloween (2018), but alas, we’re here. At least Halloween Kills was a horror movie throughout.
What’s really sad is that good, original horror movies like Barbarian and Pearl will leave the theaters to make way for as many Halloween Ends showings as possible. In a year that was great for original horror movies, Halloween Ends is much closer to Scream (2022) than it is to Nope (both movies are better than Halloween Ends, for the record). Despite having a plot that goes nowhere, casual horror audiences will be okay by the end. It’s not the worst movie of the year, but it’s a disappointing finale overall. It is the finale, right? The title of the movie is Halloween ENDS! Please, stop.
... Ten bucks says they reboot it within the decade.
Halloween Ends hits theaters and Peacock on October 14.
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