PRIMATE -- Funny Monkey

Review by Adam Donato

It wouldn’t be January without some schlocky horror movie leading the way. Primate does the honors in 2026. From the director of the 47 Meters Down duology comes another animal based horror flick about a chimp who goes crazy after contracting rabies. The cast is mostly just a bunch of newbies, except for Oscar winner Troy Kotsur. The box office doesn’t have any heavy hitter horror movies as it’s been over a month since Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 and We Bury the Dead was dead on arrival last week. Cinephiles have been referring to Primate as the Gordy from Nope solo film. Can this B movie have enough fun and good scares to get horror fans into the cinemas at the start of this new year?

Primate delivers on its promise. The chimp is an absolute monster. Unlike the Anaconda remake, it follows in the footsteps of the original Anaconda by having its creature be practical as often as possible. Being able to see that the creature was captured in camera goes a long way in the character’s effectiveness and believability. Ben the chimp is a monkey possessed, not unlike a terminator. It’s been a minute since we’ve had such a fun and original horror creature.

The majority of the cast is monkey fodder, but the clear standout is Troy Kotsur. It’s crazy that he hasn’t done many movies since CODA. He’s oozing in personality and is easily likable. This movie thrives when either the monkey is going crazy or Troy Kotsur is on screen. Here’s to hoping he shows up more often. 

Now it’s not Shakespeare. It’s a silly, dumb, and fun horror movie. All the characters are unbelievably stupid. At one point there’s clearly broken glass all over the floor and every single character is determined to walk through it barefoot. Audiences are sure to be yelling at the screen because of the foolishness of the characters, but that’s because they’re into it. The situation that this group of friends find themselves in is hysterically absurd and dangerous. There is a crazy amount of gore here as well. There’s no holding back with this one. Primate swings for the fences and delivers a damn good ride. 

While some may not have the stomach for Primate, horror fans should be able to have a fun time with the movie. At times it’s laugh out loud funny. No, you shouldn’t take the crazy monkey movie too seriously. Good schlock like this is incredibly fun. The audience at the test screening was frequently audibly reacting at how outrageous this movie had the balls to be. 2026 is gonna be a great year at the movies and Primate is keeping things off to a good start. 

​Primate is in theaters January 9.

Rating: 4/5