IF I HAD LEGS I’D KICK YOU -- Byrne At Her Best

Review by Adam Donato

This would be Mary Bronstein’s first major release, but she did make a feature with Greta Gerwig and the Safdie brothers starring herself. Here she does play a supporting role, but is also the writer and director. Rose Byrne is mostly known for her comedic and horror roles, but is the star here. The connection to the Safdie brothers makes one think they’re trying to do with Byrne what they did with Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems. She’s given quite the juicy lead role as a mother that has the weight of the world and then some on her shoulders. A24 is a great studio for getting small movies like this some attention. 

Rose Byrne has never been better. Life just keeps throwing non stop punches at her left and right to a comical extent. The movie gets right up close and personal with her character right from the jump. She’s such a sympathetic character because of her circumstance, but she makes so many bad choices that put her into this grey area. Byrne does a great job of not only selling the sadness, but the absolute paranoia and hysteria as well. This is one of the best female lead performances of the year and hopefully it gets the attention come awards season.

Bronstein does a great job of depicting the downward spiral of this character. It would be a much more depressing experience had she had no flaws and continued to get beat down. That being said, her flaws do not condemn her character. In a lot of ways it feels like the female version of Uncut Gems. It’s a very stressful experience and has these ethereal moments that make it feel larger. If I Had Legs I’d Kick You fits right in with the A24 catalogue and is one of the better entries from them this year. 

This is Conan O’Brien’s first dramatic acting role and he’s fantastic here. His character is a fellow therapist who reluctantly takes Byrne’s character as a patient. He’s such an unsupportive person in her life. Of course his performance is very funny at times because he’s naturally funny, but this is definitely Conan at his most subdued. A$AP Rocky also has a standout supporting role. Not as impressive as his work on A24’s Highest 2 Lowest earlier this season, but it’s clear that this artist can act. 

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is certainly looking at an upward battle at the box office. Rose Byrne has never been a box office name, but she delivers a performance deserving of one. This outing will put her in a higher regard with cinephiles. It’s really a credit to Bronstein getting such great performances from the entire cast. She will definitely be a name to look out for going forward. People need to go see this movie in a theater. 

If I had Legs I'd Kick You is in theaters on October 17. 

Rating: 4/5