COLD STORAGE - - Sci-Fi B-Movie with Djo

Review by Steve Barton II

With Stranger Things wrapping up on New Years Eve, the entire world has been posing the question “What’s next for all these geriatric teenagers?” Would you have guessed that the fella with the best hair would be a laid back security guard who has to stop a deadly fungus with the girl from Barbarian and Liam Neeson? If not, swap out your bingo card because Cold Storage is open for business! 

Joe Keery has quickly become one of the biggest stars from this cast, but not completely from him being the world’s best babysitter. His solo music project where he is known as “Djo” has taken the world by storm and completely boosted Joe’s star power into the stratosphere. Cold Storage was shot back in 2023 and while it may not have been intentional, holding it for all that time may actually benefit the box office success in the long run. With Joe’s popularity and Liam Neeson showing off his comedic chops with The Naked Gun last year, the anticipation has been strong.

Cold Storage is a sci-fi B-movie at its heart and luckily the tone and atmosphere work perfectly. Rather than the screen being covered in a crimson red like Iron Lung, Cold Storage swaps that for green slime that makes beings crazy and then blow up (similar to Squidward in the Krabby Patty vault). The practical effects on set look incredible, but there are a few CGI elements that immediately took me out due to them looking like a computer simulation from 2002. With the movie sitting on the shelf for a few years after production, these scenes would’ve benefited from a few touch-ups.
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While Cold Storage may not be the most original concept for a sci-fi horror(ish) comedy, David Koepp in the writer’s seat helped it stand out among others. Similar to his work on Jurassic Park, he’s able to flesh out the characters and build the tension simultaneously. The humor was perfect because of the actors playing it straight and reacting like real people in this insane situation. The writing and the editing together helps the movie keep a quick pace and it didn’t stay in any scenes too long. A few of the best scenes included side characters who are fleshed out just enough to make a huge impact and change the trajectory of the scene in the craziest ways. The covid joke erupted the auditorium at my screening! The chemistry between Joe Keery and Georgina Campbell was incredible too and it felt like those two characters were one another’s missing piece.

Overall, Cold Storage is a fun sci-fi comedy with some green splatter that will satiate the hunger that the Stranger Things finale has left in the stomach of sci-fi nerds. Similar to Stranger Things, the ending is predictable and safe, but it doesn’t ruin the ride by any means. While watching Cold Storage, most audiences will experience laughter, shock, disgust and maybe even some armpit sweat while getting nervous for our brave storage unit service members.

Cold Storage is in theaters starting February 13th! 

Rating: 3.5/5