Review by Sean Boelman

Cazzie David and Elisa Kalani clearly want to be the next great social commentators. Produced by Diablo Cody, their feature debut, I Love You Forever, wants to defy the audience’s expectations so badly that it loses sight of what’s most important: exploring its themes in a way that’s intriguing or — at the bare minimum — tasteful.

I Love You Forever is described as a “subversive romantic comedy” about a young woman in an abusive relationship. Although there is a lot of potential in this premise, it ends up feeling like a recipe for disaster, as the jarring tonal shifts lean much more on the side of insensitive than provocative and insightful.

The first half of the film is quite effective — an awkward but funny romantic comedy. There’s a ticking time bomb element, as things are clearly awry, but it’s mostly compelling. Unfortunately, when the movie attempts to make a (much) more ambitious swing in its back half, it ultimately falls flat.

There is certainly a conversation that needs to be had about domestic violence and relationship abuse, but this is assuredly not the way to do it. David and Kalani lack the tact to pull off the delicate balance they’re trying to strike. The result is some scenes feel like they’re being played off as jokes when, in reality, they should be treated with incredible seriousness.

The characters’ arcs also don’t make much sense. The timeline becomes erratic, and characters begin to turn on a dime. Perhaps this is entirely purposeful, intended to illustrate how unpredictable people can be in toxic relationships. But this also makes the cautionary tale aspect of the movie completely stall out.

However, the script is not the only culprit for the film’s failures — David and Kalani’s direction is equally misguided. Some of the cheap looks can be forgiven because of a clearly small budget, but the editing and overproduction of the sound do the movie absolutely no favors when it comes to tone.

The performances in I Love You Forever aren’t very good — well, at least in the second half — but more blame has to be put on the script than the actors. You can see Sofia Black D’Elia and Ray Nicholson's potential in their roles, but their delivery in the second half is atrocious. The only person who’s completely innocent is Jon Rudnitsky, who’s consistently fun to watch as the comedic relief/sidekick.

Cazzie David and Elisa Kalani clearly meant well when making I Love You Forever, but the result is so bad and borderline offensive that it’s hard even to respect what the film was going for. It is baffling how many wrong choices the filmmaker duo made, creating one of the most infuriating misfires in recent memory.

I Love You Forever screened at the 2024 SXSW Film Festival, which ran March 8-16 in Austin, TX.

​Rating: 1.5/5

Review by Sean Boelman

Making a movie about a “current” topic like cryptocurrency is a challenging prospect. It could be incredibly prescient, or it could feel immediately dated. That’s the least of the problems with Cutter Hodierne’s Cold Wallet, though. Despite the endorsement of iconic and talented crime filmmaker Steven Soderbergh, Cold Wallet is just another run-of-the-mill B-movie — and not a very good one at that.

Cold Wallet follows a group of people who, after losing their life’s savings in a cryptocurrency scam, decide to take things into their own hands and steal the money back from the man who screwed them over. Despite this intriguing premise, this is about as vapid as they come, with nothing of artistic merit and little of entertainment value.

The film is mainly held back by its dialogue, which is frankly atrocious. One line in the movie said with a completely straight face, “You have a missed call from a guy named Guy. Who is this guy?” sticks out as an example of John Hibey’s screenplay lacking the basics, not just of screenwriting but also of the English language. It’s like they didn’t even read the script through to see if everything made sense. 

Speaking of not making sense, the character motivations are completely illogical. You have a father trying to provide for his family, a rich billionaire trying to protect his wealth, and two people who are along for the ride, having lost their money. It’s basic enough. However, the third act tries to pit them against each other in different ways, and the dynamics it attempts simply do not work.

The only person in the cast who manages to make something of their role is Raúl Castillo (Army of the Dead), and it’s hard not to feel bad for the actor. He’s trying to bring his usual charm and gravitas, but the role is so detestable by the end that he can’t save it. Josh Brener (Silicon Valley) gives what might be the laziest performance ever given in cinematic history. And Tony Cavalero (The Righteous Gemstones) is wasted on a role that fundamentally misunderstands its talents.

One might be able to forgive Cold Wallet if its production values were at least sleek and energetic. It is “presented” by Steven Soderbergh, after all, so one might hope this would be an Ocean’s-esque crypto heist movie. Those hopes would be in vain, as the film has all the dour qualities of every crappy straight-to-VOD B-movie you’ve ever seen.

Indeed, Hodierne’s second feature does not work on any level. As a home invasion thriller, it’s not tense; as a heist movie, it’s not exciting; and as a Robin Hood-esque revenge tale, there’s no compelling hero to root for. If anything, you’re watching to see the worse people get their comeuppance, but it doesn’t even deliver satisfying carnage in that regard.  

The fallacy of Cold Wallet can probably be best summed up by a promotion the filmmakers ran timed to the festival premiere. The film is unquestionably a cautionary tale about the dangers of crypto and obsession with these fads. Yet despite this, attendees were given the chance to enter a contest to win Bitcoin. If this sounds hypocritical, that’s because it is — but it doesn’t even touch the level of idiocy present in the script.

Cold Wallet screened at the 2024 SXSW Film Festival, which ran March 8-16 in Austin, TX.

Rating: 1.5/5

Review by Sean Boelman

It’s hard to make a bad movie or show about the Holocaust because these stories tend to speak for themselves; however, it’s also challenging to make a great one because of how high the bar has been set. Hulu’s We Were the Lucky Ones has high production values and an incredible story but never breaks out of the mold of the Holocaust drama to deliver an experience that stands out.

Based on the novel by Georgia Hunter, the show tells the story of a family of Polish Jews during WWII as they are separated from one another and fight to survive and reunite. Inspiring Holocaust stories are a pretty safe bet for a crowd-pleaser, but We Were the Lucky Ones arguably plays it too safe, settling for bland inspiration rather than actually provoking viewers to reflect on the atrocities and devastation they are seeing.

Part of the issue is that the show cannot juggle its multiple storylines. Jumping between the different siblings’ stories could have created a compelling juxtaposition, comparing their various paths to survival; instead, it feels anticlimactic. The structure feels more out of the need to set up cliffhangers than it does any thematic planning.

Of course, as is often the case with shows following this structure, some storylines are more engaging than others. However, what’s unfortunate about this one is that there are even lulls in the individual storylines. Although the periods of (relative) calm are understandable within the context of the story, they aren’t very cinematic, dragging the pacing to a halt.

One of the more noticeable mediocrities of We Were the Lucky Ones is its cast. Joey King and Logan Lerman, the two main stars, are passable, but lack the humanity in their performances that makes this genre resonate. King gets a few flashy moments where she shines, but struggles with the quieter moments in the rest of her role. Surprisingly, the less well-known Henry Lloyd-Hughes is the most impressive of the leading trio when it comes to the subtler parts.

Still, by the time you reach the last episode, you will be unquestionably moved by the level of perseverance these people have shown in the face of adversity. Although the message that love (in this case, of the familiar variety) conquers all isn’t groundbreaking, it’s an important reminder in a time increasingly defined by division and vitriol.

The one area in which We Were the Lucky Ones unequivocally excels is its production values; however, that is the bare minimum for a prestige period drama like this. The production design, costuming, and visual effects are all fairly impressive in how they create the show's setting — especially considering how international it is compared to other entries in the genre.

In most ways, We Were the Lucky Ones is like virtually every other run-of-the-mill Holocaust drama you have seen — for better or worse. It’s certainly moving, although any piece of media that tells a story like this should be; it just puts in the minimum effort to get its emotional response.

We Were the Lucky Ones streams on Hulu beginning March 28 with three episodes, with new episodes streaming subsequent Thursdays. All eight episodes reviewed.

​Rating: 3/5

Review by Joseph Fayed

Revenge thriller Femme from directors Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping expands the idea behind their 2021 short into a feature. Addressing themes of sexuality, identity, and openness about the former, the film establishes conflicting narratives quite effectively. Two strong leading performances bring the heat to a script that prioritizes style and substance. 

Jules (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett) is a drag queen performing at a London nightclub. One night, outside the venue, he encounters Preston (George MacKay). The two exchange some words, which leads to Preston and his friends violently beating Jules. Months later, Jules, out of drag, encounters Preston, but he does not recognize him. The closeted Preston tries pursuing a relationship, but Jules is secretly in pursuit of something else: revenge. 

Jules' actions make them an anti-hero. The film's script does a good job of laying out the internal struggles both leads face in their lives. The film also lacks the use of internal monologue, a la Taxi Driver, and that decision alone gives the character of Jules more subtlety in their actions. We gradually learn more about Preston, and although he is more of an open book than Jules, his characterization makes the ending all the more worthwhile. ​

The cinematography is exceptional. Certain moments leading up to something climatic are presented in hot pink or red, while scenes where the characters are supposed to feel isolated or alone are presented in blue. A color contrast like this is very creative and adds an extra layer of beauty to a story that is both figuratively and literally dark — in both subject matter and taking place mainly in the evening. 

Nathan Stewart-Jarrett and George Mackay both drive it home with their performances. Stewart-Jarrett walks the fine line between authenticity and a persona he is putting on, and I don't mean his drag act. MacKay portrays his character as both short-tempered and with convincing cognitive dissonance. Directors Freeman and Ng pose the question of whether identity could ever be tainted if it is stripped away from us. They give their perspective answer on that and do not make the film feel like it has been dragged out beyond the opening act. The chemistry between Nathan and George is strong and their scenes together feel genuine whether they are acting as friend or foe. 

Femme builds its suspense in all the right places. It is both stylish and sexy and has the bark and bite to show you how complex revenge can be. The fluidity of these characters and how they become intertwined is so well done, and I hope that now that all eyes are on them, this is just the first of many more collaborations between the filmmakers. 

Femme is now playing in theaters.

​Rating: 5/5

Review by Daniel Lima

​That the excuse for this is a desire to delve into his progenitor’s internal life is laughable, considering how little there is as written. He is defined solely by his inability to be defined: he cannot relate to others, has no goals or desires, and displays no outward personality. Lead actor Simon Morze fails to imbue the character with any humanity, but given that he has so little to work with, that’s hardly surprising. It is possible to center a story on such a repressed, socially inept protagonist.

​Still, there has to be something for an audience to cling to: a sense of character development, an approach to film craft that externalizes how they relate to the world, even simply using them as a lens through which to examine the world around them. Instead, the character is static, the film’s handsome cinematography does nothing more than look handsome, and we certainly gain no perspective on wartime Europe because that might lead to some tough questions about dear old great-grandpa. Thus, the film places all dramatic weight on a void that cannot support it.

One might assume that the soldier’s relationship with the titular creature would serve as the emotional foundation of the story. Frustratingly, nothing is done to emphasize their bond beyond a handful of scenes where they frolic, sandwiched between all his other ambling wartime experiences. The fox is given no distinct personality; his growth into adulthood is skipped over, and he doesn’t even receive a proper name. Their dynamic does not change until the very end of the movie, and even then, it does not actually serve as the final leg of what passes for the soldier’s journey. Instead, that is offloaded onto his relationship with his father — a figure absent from his life for over a decade and the narrative for almost the entire runtime. It’s a baffling decision that speaks to difficulty finding a clear arc to a real life — at least, one that ignores all the Nazi bits.

It is, of course, possible that the filmmaker is actually doing the story of his great-grandfather justice. Perhaps his service through World War II as part of the Axis powers really was entirely bloodless. Maybe he really had no dimension to his as a young man. Perhaps he really didn’t bother to name this animal that served as his only companion for a year. If all this is true, however, it begs one question: “Would anyone who isn’t a blood relative of this guy actually care?” There is only one answer.​

The Fox is now available on VOD.

Rating: 2/5